身边有一些朋友剛為人父人母 , 以前朋友口口聲聲話小孩子要天生天養突然180 度大变身 , 变成了準廿四孝父母。 雖然小朋友剛滿月不久但已細心舖排小朋友每個階段的成長路 , 而且恨不得小朋友像 “哪吒” 一樣見風就大 , 明天就可以大學畢業成家立室 。 兩夫婦的緊張程度及懂景令身邊朋友都覺得不知好嬲定好笑 。
香港盛行 “執輸行頭慘過敗家” 的心態 , 大家身邊不難找到一些 “怪獸家長 “或 “直昇機家長” 的人版。 而這些怪獸家長或直昇機家長的形成不就是因為過份緊張及家長本身沒有心理準備而形成。
大家打開報章不難找到什麼入學精英培訓班 , 面試班 , 琴棋書畫 , 騎射搏擊 , 少林寺十八般武藝速成班更不在話下 。 這些坊間課程大都冠以美麗包裝給你一個充滿無限幻想遠境 , 加上像瘟疫般的宣傳攻勢 , 人人咁做若你的小朋友唔根就好蝕底一句致命歪理 , 正中家長的心虛要害 , 变成了風氣 。老實講這些都是針對 “滿足每位家長心態” 而設計的賺錢商機 , 未必真正教到小朋友什麼 , 我亦不覺得少少年紀學會了十八般武藝除 “攞威曬命”之外有什麼得着。 其實我覺得不是小朋友應要小堂 , 而是身為家長應學習一吓如何做人父母!
父母當然不易做 , 除了揾食糊口外亦要照顧家庭 。 上一代人環境不佳兄弟姊妹眾多 , 大哥大姊就做了半個父母的責任 , 負責照顧家中幼少 , 真是今餐唔知下餐事 , 無辦法唔適者生存天生天養 , 一切都好似幾 OK 。 但現代人知識水平高了 , 反而好像有更多問題出現 , 究竟是什麼地方出錯? 是進步還是退步? 是時代变了? 還是人心變了?
有時都覺得這一代的小朋友其實幾辛苦 , 辛苦的是一個一個被 Spoon Feed 倒模般複製 。 我身邊的朋友當中就有不少這些例子。每天放學後補習 , 週末週日課外活動由早去到晚 , 有時見到小朋友攰到眼圈都黑埋。 但教出來的小朋友反而連最基本的禮、義、廉、恥 , 是非黑白 , 尊師重導 , 做人價值 , 個人治理能力都欠缺 。 什麼修身 , 齊家 , 治國 , 平天下這些核心價值早己被家長們長埋地下 , 反而被一些似是而非的歪理代替 。有時真的要問是否真的有此必要? 究竟我們在培育一個有德行的人 , 一個高分低能寄生蟲 , 還是一個為害人間的惡魔?
大家經常投訢身一代年青人或小朋友如何無禮貌 , 只懂權利不講義務 , 只顧自己不顧他人 , 飯來張口 , 要錢伸手 , 整天混混噩噩 , 貪威識食物質享受為上 ………. 若將來由他們當上未來社會的主人翁或在公司掌權會是怎樣? 我自己倒有點擔心 , 可能將來真的要移民去亞魯亞圖 , 一個香蕉多個人的國家 , 日日食蕉無眼睇算了。
我今天不是想講什麼做家長大道理 , 不過最近看到一篇很有意思的文章 , 雖然內容並非與教導小朋友有直接關係 , 但卻令我聯想到 “拔苗助長式的教育子女方法” 是否一件好事? 因此轉載過來給大家一個思巧空間。
另外我年前在一篇舊文 “新一代應培育的六種能力 ”分享了自己一貫教小朋友的方法 , 我深信這些目標比什麼十八般武藝更實際及有用。
原本出處 :
http://www.lifeoptimizer.org/2012/04/26/growing-slowly/
The trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruit.
If there are two ways to success, the first one is instant and the second one takes a long time, which one would you choose? I think most people will take the first one. After all, who doesn’t want to get a quick reward?
But there is a difference between achieving a quick success and a lasting success. If you just want a quick success, then sure, the first way the best way to go. However, if you want a lasting success, I believe you should choose the second way. It’s a slow way, but it’s the best way to grow. Here are two reasons why:
1. It prepares you for the responsibility
Being successful is nice, but it comes with a big responsibility. If you don’t have what it takes, you might seem successful on the outside, but you might not be ready on the inside.
Success could easily ruin your life if you are not ready for it. There are many people who are successful in one area of their lives, but messed up in the other areas. Perhaps they have family problems. Or they become arrogant. Or they feel empty inside.
Real success means being successful in all areas of your life, not just in one or two. There has to be a balance between all of them.
Growing slowly is good because it prepares you for the big responsibility that comes with success. You will be able to handle it and keep your life balanced.That’s how you can have a lasting success.
2. It prepares you for moments of crisis
Those who want a quick success often do more than what they can afford. They take excessive risks that will eventually hurt themselves and others. These people might seem successful in the beginning, but when the storm comes they won’t be able to withstand it.
Warren Buffett is a good example here. He grows his portfolio slowly over the years. He doesn’t do the “exotic” things many others do in the financial world. As a result, when the crisis struck, he was able to recover quickly. In fact, he used the opportunity to buy stocks on the cheap.
What makes the difference here? Those who grow slowly take the time to build their foundation. They don’t hurry to build a big house. They are patient and use the time to build a strong foundation first. That’s why they can withstand the storm better than those who just want to quickly build the house.
So it’s up to you. What kind of success do you want?
Do you want a quick success or a lasting success?
AM 的品味人生 